How To Fall in Love With a Mord Sith
by BRMCluv
Summary: Berdine, Raina, Cara, Egan, and Ulic never got much dating done. They try to make up for lost time, and Agiels, flirting, candles, homophobia, and very awkward mornings ensue. Slight AU.
1. Of Agiels and Flirting

I labeled this is slight AU because I tampered with the timelines from the third book. Things don't strictly adhere to the book's format because I had to focus more on the group's interactions with eachother rather than the war. The pairings will be a surprise. (:

No copyright infringement intended.

* * *

"You may go," Lord Rahl commanded his entourage. Obediently, they exited the large stone room leaving General Reibisch, Gratch, the strange woman in rags, her brother, and the other gruff-looking man behind.

"Shouldn't we stay with him?" Cara asked uneasily as the large wooden doors swung shut behind her. Berdine shrugged.

"We'll stay out here, right next to the door, and if he needs us, we'll go right inside." she declared. The two other Mord-Sith nodded. At the same time, all three leather-clad women and both D'Haran guards started for the door. For the briefest of moments, the two groups glared at eachother. Each wanted to be closest to their master in case they'd be needed.

It was Egan who broke the uncomfortable silence.

"Ladies first," he stated, his fierce features smoothing into a charming smile. With a courtly bow that seemed odd on someone his size, he backed up. Stone-faced Ulic retreaded as well.

The three Mord-Sith did not bother to hide their smug, self-satisfied expressions as they took their places next to the doors.

----------------

"What was _that_?" Ulic asked, as soon as they were across the hall and out of earshot of the three women.

Egan smiled. "I simply did not wish to tangle with the Sisters of the Agiel." he replied. Ulic rolled his eyes.

"They are of no threat to us." He folded his thick, muscular arms. Egan watched Ulic eye the women's magic weapons, and wondered if his friend truly felt no threat from them.

"They used to make a living out of torturing men," Egan said, indicated Cara's ever-ready Agiel with a thrust of his chin. "I respect them nonetheless, but I do not wish to test them."

"Don't you think we could protect Rahl far better and more quickly than three women?"

Egan shook his head. "I have faith in us, Ulic, but I'd put my money on those three any day. They may be women, but they are also Mord-Sith." he concluded.

Ulic snorted. "You seem to hold them in high regards, Egan. I know your weakness for good-looking women. Do you fancy any of them?"

Egan laughed. "Never."

The two friends watched the three women chatter in front of the tall mahogany doors.

"They talk among themselves as if they were normal women. Gives me the chills." Ulic commented after a few minutes. He seemed to have abandoned his former pretense of underestimating them.

Egan raised an eyebrow at his friend. "As _if_ they were women? I seem to remember you saying they were of not threat to us. If not women, just what do you propose they are, Ulic?"

"Not humans, if that's what you're getting at. I realize now that they are torturous, brutal machines who would not hesitate to spill our blood."

There was a brief silence as Egan considered this. Out of the corner of his watchful gaze, Ulic observed his friend. Finally, slowly, Egan shook his head.

"No. Not anymore. Not...ever. Torturous, brutal...they may be these things, but not machines. They were girls once, before Darken Rahl took that away from them. And there is still some of that girl left inside of them, I think. That's what allows them to chatter and laugh and whisper like we see them do now."

Ulic thought about this for a long while as the silence wore on. He looked at their faces and tried to think of them in the way Egan seemed to do: with the proper amount of fear, but also with respect and a bit of pity. But every time Ulic truly focused his mind like that, his gaze would inadverdently slip down to that Agiel, that mythical instrument of pure pain that had no doubt brought dozens, hundreds of men to their knees and, eventually, to their demise.

Egan could think what he wanted, but as for Ulic, there was no getting past that Agiel.

----------------

Raina silently watched Cara and Berdine reminisce. She had always envied Berdine a bit. Raina had never spoken with her much, but Berdine always seemed to say the right things to make their fellow Mord-Sith laugh. Now that she saw how easily Cara brought a smile to Berdine's face and how well they complemented eachother, Raina ached for one of her friends from back at the palace. She felt out of the loop as they discussed the late Hally, whom Raina had never been particularly close to either. It seemed she and Berdine were lifelong friends, abducted from the same village on the same year they were to begin training to be a Mord-Sith, and had remained close at the palace. Many times she had seen Berdine and Cara howl with laughter at one of Berdine's many stories of the trouble she and Hally had gotten into, and twice had Raina seen Berdine's eyes fill with tears for the loss of her friend. It made Raina want to step in and say something that would make her feel better, but she hadn't the slightest idea what that would be. She wished one of them would talk to her.

As if reading her mind, Cara suddenly turned her deep, intelligent eyes on Raina's. "You're awfully quiet tonight."

Raina shrugged. "It's been an eventful past few days." Berdine and Cara nodded in agreement. They each sat in silence for a few moments, remembering it all over again.

Suddenly Berdine turned back to Cara. "There is one thing I regret about Hally and me."

Cara turned her gaze back to Berdine. She seemed to be searching her eyes. "No. Don't tell me you regret telling her your secret." Berdine bit her lip and nodded. "Come on, Berdine, you did the right thing."

"But there seemed to be such a...rift between us after I told her. I could feel us coming back together when we started on this journey, but it never did feel like old times. I wish I could have taken it back. Because now..." she trailed off, and her eyes filled with tears for the third time that night.

"Berdine, stop it. Hally was your best friend in the world, and you hers. You did the right thing, she just needed time to get used to it. She would have been fine after a while, exactly like I am."

Raina felt clueless. She looked between the two girls, trying to figure out what they were talking about. She had no idea.

Berdine seemed to be thinking on Cara's words. Suddenly, without warning, she threw her arms around the other girl. "Thank you, Cara. You have no idea how much your advice means to me. I had been so scared I had driven Hally away from me, that I...had lost her as a friend, and that because of what happened, it was too late." She unwound her arms from Cara, who smiled sadly. "Now I know it'll be OK."

The group returned to silence. Trying to lighten the mood, Raina spoke up. "Don't look now, but they're eyeing us," she whispered.

Cara cast Raina the timeless look of a Mord-Sith sensing a threat. "Who?"

Berdine slowly looked up and then giggled. "Don't be so alarmed, Cara. She's talking about the men."

Cara wrinkled her nose. "Ulic and Egan? Let them. They're probably just scared."

Berdine smiled. "They have good cause to be, Cara. That look you gave Raina probably has Egan wetting his pants." The three girls erupted in laughter.

----------------

"What's so funny over there?" Ulic asked Egan suspicously. Egan smiled.

"Probably something to do with us."

"What do you mean?" Ulic's frown deepend.

"Well, we were looking in their direction, and one of them probably told Cara about it, because she looked like she was ready to kill someone. Then Berdine looked up and made eye contact with _me_, before I could look away, and now they think we were looking at them. That's what set them off."

Ulic snorted. "Well, you _were_ looking at them, Egan. I saw you oggling their leather suits."

Egan smiled. "Like anyone looks at a Mord-Sith and sees the _suits_."

"You seem so full of confidence, my friend. If you're such a Mord-Sith expert, why don't you go over there and have a conversation with them?" Ulic was only joking, and he didn't expect Egan to actually walk over there. But, without warning, he did just that.

"E...Egan? What are you doing?" Ulic's friend didn't look back as he approached the three smiling women. He decided to follow after.

"Good evening, ladies." Egan admonished. Raina looked up in surprise, Berdine in amusement, and Cara cast him a cold look that he took care to avoid.

"Good evening, gentlemen," Berdine replied smoothly, quirking an eyebrow up at Egan and, behind him, Ulic.

"Gentlemen? You are quite generous, Berdine." Cara smirked, unabashed in the face of Ulic's glare.

"Ready to switch?"

"Are you suggesting that we leave our post? It has been less than twenty minutes since Lord Rahl began questioning the subjects. You are mistaken if you expect us to be weary already." There was an unmistakable challange in Cara's voice.

"Only trying to do you a courtesy, ma'am. See, my friend over here..." He indicated Ulic with a jerk of his thumb, "...has been talking about you three nonstop, all evening. Even before we got here, in fact." Ulic tensed, and his eyes sent daggers into Egan's back. Egan himself leaned in towards the three women still standing against the door. "Unfortunately, the poor shy thing has to have _me_ do all the talking," Egan stage-whispered. Ulic reddened as Berdine and Raina cracked up. Cara's fierce expression eased somewhat, and Egan counted that as an accomplishment. He straightened back up and winked.

"So by 'ready to switch,' I really meant, 'Let's give poor, lonely Ulic the company of three beautiful ladies'". At this, all three of the ladies in question grinned.

"I think that would be OK," Berdine said with a wink of her own. She looked to Raina. "Raina?"

Raina smiled and nodded shyly. "Cara?" Cara stood there, her eyes darting back and forth between Egan and Ulic suspicously. "Beautiful ladies, huh? I guess...something could be arranged." She smiled at last.

Berdine and Raina sat on the floor for the first time since they came into the hall. Cara followed on Berdine's right, and the two D'Haran men sat in front of them. _What a sight_, Raina thought. Three Mord-Siths across from two D'Haran guards. Five of the most dangerous adults you could ever come across, and they were sitting on the floor, exchanging grins like little children. _Well, I guess we have to make up for lost time. None of us really got to be children under Darken Rahl's rule_. This seemed to be an unspoken understanding between all of them.

"I can see what you mean about Ulic being a 'shy, poor thing,'" Cara suddenly spoke up, looking Egan in the eye. "He hasn't said a word yet."

Ulic only narrowed his eyes, meaning to scare her off. He really just had no clue what to say. Cara met Ulic's intimidating gaze evenly and didn't look away. The two stared at eachother for awhile, like predators in the wild.

Egan waved his hand between the two. "Oh, none of that, now. This is a _friendly_ gathering." Berdine and Raina laughed again.

"You girls are so giggly tonight. Mord-Sith, _giggling_. Disgusting." Cara said with a shake of her head.

"You don't like the sound of laugher, Cara?" Egan cried, in feigned shock.

"A member of the high D'Haran guard, _flirting_. Disgusting." Ulic mocked. Cara smiled indulgently.

"Oh, I don't think he's flirting with me." She blushed. It felt so good to be so relaxed with a man.

Berdine rolled her eyes. "Of course he is."

"Why don't you let _him_ tell you?" Egan asked. He was just being sarcastic, but everyone in the circle looked at him expectantly. He scrambled for a response.

_This is ridiculous. Grown men and women, acting like teenagers. Well, I suppose we have to live out those years at some point._ Cara was still looking at him, smiling in a defiant, challenging way. He met her gaze.

"I was. Badly, I might add." Egan said. The two other Mord-Sith giggled yet again. Cara shot them a warning look that had no effect.

"You need some help with that, Egan." Cara returned her gaze to him.

"And are you saying _you'd_ be the one to help?"

"Maybe." Cara tipped her head. "It would take a lot of effort, though."

Ulic laughed. "Yeah, Egan's hopeless."

Cara's smile grew wider. "This coming from the man who needed 'bad-flirter' Egan over here to do the talking for him?" That shut Ulic up. Cara smiled satisfactorally and turned her attention back to Egan.

Raina felt like she was watching a play, with Cara cast as the perfect Mord-Sith who played with her men even when they weren't chained and at the other end of an Agiel. Looking closer, she thought she saw some determination in her eyes. Where was she hoping this would lead?

Berdine broke the silence that came after Cara's insult. "This is strange for us," she said quietly. "Strange, but fun." Every head in the circle turned to look at her.

"Because you don't get to relax often?" Egan asked gently.

"Because we don't get to talk to men like this, in a friendly way. Because they always fear us." She looked up hopefully at the two D'Haran guards before her. "But you two are different." Everyone smiled.

Cara unexpectedly got up from the gathering. She only got about five feet down the hallway before she heard Egan behind her.

She smiled. _Perfect._

* * *

**Chapter Two:** Raina finds out Berdine's secret, and Ulic laughs at Egan's.


	2. Of Candles and Homophobia

No copyright infringement intended. This chapter's pretty heavy. The fun stuff will start soon. :)

* * *

Raina stared into the dark hall, lit only a few feet in front of her by a small candle. Somewhere at the other end of the hall, one of the men was standing guard. _Definitely Ulic_, she thought, remembering Egan follow Cara down this very hall hours before. _Wonder what they're up to?_ Raina thought sarcastically. She had a pretty good idea.

Deep in her thoughts, she was startled to feel a hand on her shoulder. Quick as lightning, with the perfect reflexes only a Mord-Sith has, Raina leapt up and whirled around to see Berdine standing behind her, holding a candle of her own. The other girl grinned and held up her left hand, palm out, in a gesture of surrender.

"It's only me."

"Oh. I'm sorry, Berdine. What are you doing here? It's not you're turn yet."

"I can't sleep, so I figured I'd relieve you early."

Raina laughed dryly. "Neither can I. Why do you think I volunteered for first watch?"

Berdine smiled. "Well, would you like some company, then?" Raina nodded amiably and sat back down, setting her candle on the floor in front of her. Berdine did the same. Raina looked at the two flames, side by side. _Pretty_.

"Anything on your mind, in particular? Since you can't sleep?" Berdine asked.

Raina fidgeted with her braid. "I guess…what happened last night with Ulic and Egan. It was strange, in a good way." Berdine nodded.

"I know what you mean. I enjoyed it." Her smile faded. "Until Cara changed the game on us."

"Yeah, that was strange." Raina elbowed Berdine teasingly. "Guess there's only one left now, huh?"

Berdine slid her eyes sideways toward Raina. "Oh, you can have Ulic," she stated flatly. Confused, Raina sensed she'd struck a nerve.

She smiled warmly at her fellow Mord-Sith, hoping to change the mood. Berdine was still mourning Hally, and Raina wanted her to feel as comfortable as possible. "Oh, no, I'm much to shy for that sort of thing. I don't really know why, but I've never chosen a mate."

Berdine widened her eyes. "Really? But choosing a mate is part of our job."

"I know. I guess…I'm OK with men when I'm training them, always in control, but if you put me in a bed with one, I'm afraid I'm at a loss." She laughed. "Not that I speak from experience."

Berdine's eyes took on a faraway look. "I'd like it to be that way, Raina. I've only taken precious few mates. It was always the other way around for me, back at the Palace."

Raina's eyes widened in shock. She could think of only one man with high enough rank and courage to take a Mord-Sith to bed. Darken Rahl.

Suddenly Raina felt inexplicably guilty for not exercising her right to choose a mate freely.

Berdine's face suddenly softened. "That's not to say my love life has been _all_ bad. I had a love once, before I was taken by the palace."

"Oh, that young? How cute! What was his name?"

Berdine narrowed her eyes. "Sam."

"Samuel? I like it."

"No, Sam. _Her_ name was Sam."

Raina was stunned. At first she thought nothing, then her head began reeling with thoughts.

Because of Darken Rahl's abuse? No, this had happened before, she said. But how could she have known, so young? And how could she have continued that sort of thing after becoming a Mord-Sith? It was so…dishonorable. And not just at the People's Palace, either. Raina thought of her village, how close it was to where the infamous Demmin Nass resided, and how the adults told scary stories of what he did to the little boys he happened upon in the streets. She thought of the young, doe-eyed child who was an unspoken embarrassment to the village because he preferred girls' dress and games and company over that of his many brothers'. And how, when he happened to dissapear on the same exact day Demmin Nass visited the village, everyone seemed to breathe a little easier, even his own parents.

Could Berdine possibly be this perverse? Now it all made sense why Darken Rahl had favored her. He had somehow guessed her disillusions and was toying with her. A tragedy, of course, but hadn't she brought it upon herself?

Raina could feel the cold disdain seeping from the Mord-Sith beside her. Still, she couldn't bring herself to comfort this woman. Remembering that poor boy and how he had brought Demmin Nass's disgusting ways upon himself, she just couldn't do it.

----------------

Ulic could tell by his swagger that the man approaching him was Egan. Nevertheless, he lifted up his candle to illuminate the him It was indeed Egan, wearing a self-satisfied smirk.

He sat down next to Ulic on the floor.

"It's about time you returned."

"Don't even try it, Ulic. You have at least a half hour left on watch. Enough time for me to take a much-needed bath." His smile widened.

Ulic scoffed. "Are you telling me you spent that entire time with Cara? Are you insane?"

Egan's smile faded a bit. "Yes, I _was_ with Cara. It was amazing, Ulic. You and I both know we never got a chance to court women under our former master."

"That's ridiculous. We could have many women, and we did. What more could you want?"

Egan shook his head. "We could have many _whores, _to take back to our tents the night before battle. I said _court, _Ulic. That's why Cara and I went for a walk after we left you."

"And how was it?"

Egan smiled peacefully. "Wonderful. She's a great listener, you know? I forgot about her Agiel, completely."

"You've forgotten who she is, Egan. Mord-Sith."

"No, not Mord-Sith." Egan shook his head again. "She is _Cara. _Believe it or not, Ulic, underneath the scary red leather, she's a woman." The mischevious glint came back into Egan's eyes once again. "In more ways than one." He stared down the hallway for a few moments, no doubt reminiscing. It disgusted Ulic, and he felt more than a little worried for his friend.

"I'll be back after my bath. Good night." Egan stood up. Ulic let him take a few steps before speaking up.

"Egan." The urgent, quiet tone of Ulic's voice made Egan stop quick. Slowly, he turned around.

Ulic lifted up his eyes to look his fellow soldier and life-long friend in the face.

"Be careful about her, Egan." He paused. His face held the familiar stony countenance he was taught to portray, but his eyes gave away his concern.

"She is Mord-Sith. She will destroy you."

Egan only spent a few seconds considering this before stepping forward and punching his friend square in the jaw.

----------------

Through some strange stroke of luck in Raina's favor, the awkward silence between her and Berdine only spanned about five minutes before Cara returned. She was at first just a womanly shape materializing out of the darkness before them, and it spooked Raina quite a bit. When she reached them, Cara flopped back on the floor and layed on her back, staring up at the ceiling with a satisfied smile on her face.

"Oh, don't give me that _look_."

Raina stopped mid-eye-roll before remembering Cara's own eyes were closed.

"Why? You mean you didn't..."

Cara laughed. "Of course we did. But we walked first, in the courtyard." Here, her brow furrowed in curious confusion. "It was strange. Nice, but strange. He talked a lot. D'Haran guards of his rank are supposed to be...they aren't supposed to have feelings. They're just supposed to fight, objectively. Like us, I suppose. But Egan isn't like that. His heart is full. I like that. And...he has a big soul." She opened one eye and glanced mischeviously up at Raina. "Among other things."

The silence returned. When Berdine finally spoke, her voice was so icy it made Raina wince. "Raina and I had a nice little talk while you were gone."

Cara sat up slowly. She searched Raina's face cooly in the darkness, all light-heartedness gone. "You told her?"

"Yes."

Cara's eyes narrowed. Her face flushed with anger. Raina knew Cara guessed Berdine's news hadn't met well.

"Listen, _bitch," _Cara hissed. The curse and the force behind it caused Raina to involunatrily jerk backwards.

"If I ever hear one word of judgement come out of your mouth, you _will_ regret it. As long as you live here with us, with _Berdine_, you will forget everything you were taught. She's _fine_, and her choices don't make her any less respectable than you." She smiled wickedly. "She may even be _more_ so. How do we know you and she don't have this in _common_? Everyone _knows_ you've never taken a mate."

Raina froze. For the second time that evening, she was stunned into silence. She looked at Cara's red face, her eyes that burned in defence of Berdine, and she felt genuine fear. Raina had often been as enraged herself when one of her pets gave her trouble, but this was the first time in a long while that any other Mord-Sith had looked at her this way. Raina felt like the little girl she had once been, at the other end of a merciless Agiel.

Looking behind Cara, she also noticed Berdine's face. Oddly, it wasn't angry or vengeful. It was drained of color, her wide, pleading eyes looking into Raina's, all the way to her soul. She found she couldn't look away.

From that night on, it wouldn't be Cara's loud threats that haunted Raina. It would be those eyes.


	3. Of Very Awkward Mornings

No copyright infringement intended.

* * *

The way the table was set up for breakfast the next morning said wonders about what happened the previous night. Richard, at the head of the table, looked around for clues as to what had gone on while he got settled in Aydindril.

Egan sat on his left, next to General Riebisch. Richard had expected him to sit with Ulic, but instead he sat across from Raina. He also expected all the Mord-Sith to sit together, but Ulic sat between Berdine and Raina. Cara wasn't even present. Ulic also had a bruise on his lower jaw. Barely discernable, but there nonetheless. If there was trouble with outsiders last night, Richard would've been notified. He guessed something had happened between Ulic and one of the men. _Egan? Would explain why they aren't sitting together..._

Richard's thoughts were interrupted by Cara's entrance. She strode in with a smile on her face, dressed in her traditional brown leather. Berdine looked up eagerly as Cara made her way around the table. She smiled and tapped the place in front of her, next to the general, telling Cara to sit across from her. Cara wrinkled her nose and shook her head without pausing. Seeing her heading towards him, Egan scooted back his chair. Berdine, Ulic, and Raina looked at him in confusion. Cara shocked all her friends at the table by plopping down on Egan's lap.

Berdine smiled. _How...unlike Cara. Egan really is changing her. And only after one night..._

Ulic kept his face carefully blank, but seeing his best friend with a Mord-Sith on his lap made the bruise Egan gave him last night throb.

Raina raised her eyebrows. _Making a splash, as always._ She slid her eyes toward Berdine. She hoped things weren't irreparable between them. After a long night of thinking, she decided she still didn't understand Berdine's ways, but she was going to be fair.

Egan looked up at Cara and grinned. She looked beautiful this morning. Ulic nagged at the back of his mind, though. He felt bad about punching him. He knew it was the least damage a D'Haran guard could impose on someone. That was his intention: he didn't do it to cause Ulic pain, he did it to warn him. Even so, it was far too imulsive. He regretted letting Cara come between him and his best friend. _Beautiful Cara..._

"Good morning," Cara chirped. "Sorry I'm a bit late. Overslept, I guess." She glanced across the table at Berdine. "Hello, dear. Feeling better?"

Berdine didn't know whether to be grateful or hurt by Cara's lingering concern. She just smiled.

Cara nodded. "Good." Her eyes swept over to Ulic's face. "Oh? What's this?" She reached a hand across the table and turned his jaw towards the light.

Ulic was disgusted that her touch sent fear coursing through him. Egan had said Cara was just a woman, but Ulic still knew her as Mord-Sith. He was unsure of how to react, so he let her run her hand over his bruise.

"Poor baby," she said. Ulic got the sense she was insulting him. He kept his face emotionless, and she withdrew her hand.

As usual, no one knew how to carry on a conversation when Cara threw them all offguard. Egan thought it was hilarious, but it was plain to see no one else shared this sentiment. An awkward silence ensued. Everyone picked at their food except for Cara. She was watching them all.

Raina had always been weird about silence. She always felt that she could hear it, and it often panicked her, deafened her, and so, ever since she was a child, she would try to alleviate it by starting a conversation, usually the first thing that ever came to mind.

This was her mistake.

"How are you feeling this morning, Berdine?"

Berdine froze. She didn't answer.

"Better than last night? I'm sorry about...everything." Raina's heart began to pound.

"What happened?" Richard asked, looking concerned.

"Nothing," Berdine said, at the same time Raina declared "An argument of..." Raina blushed at the interruption and finished "...of sorts," weakly.

Cara laughed. "An argument, to put it lightly." Egan looked up at her, his brow furrowed in curiosity.

"You got into an argument, Cara?" She shook her head.

"Raina and Berdine got into one. Of sorts," she clarified, throwing a wink Raina's way, who blushed further and furiously regretted starting this conversation.

"What about? Can I help with anything?" Richard askedm, concerned for his friends.

"Of course!" Cara exclaimed, looking positively delighted at the prospect of making some waves.

"Don't do this," Berdine whispered. No one heard.

"Richard, Ulic, Egan...here's a question for you three. Or...no, a scenario, that's a better word. Is it wrong for Berdine to fall in love?" Cara asked, speaking slowly and clearly. Berdine closed her eyes.

"Of course not," Richard spoke up. "Love is wonderful."

"Then, no matter who it was Berdine chose to be with, it would be OK? Wonderful, even?"

Richard and Egan nodded. "I'm sure it wouldn't be a problem, whoever this man is," Egan stated, smiling at Berdine.

Cara smiled. "Ah, but you jump to conclusions, my friends," she began.

"Cara!" Berdine practically screamed. Everyone jumped, even Cara.

"Don't worry, hon. I can do this for you." Cara looked into Berdine's eyes earnestly. Everyone waited, confused and holding their collective breath. Finally, slowly, Berdine nodded. _Dear spirits, protect me..._ she silently prayed. She hoped Cara could pull this off.

"Now, as I was saying, you men jump to conclusions far too quickly."

"Do you mean that whom Berdine has chosen _isn't _OK?" Richard asked.

"I never said she chose anyone, yet. I just said that _should_ she choose someone, no matter who it might be, it would still be OK since she's in love?"

It was plain to see that the three men found this thoroughly confusing but, after thinking on it for a few moments, they nodded their heads. Berdine felt like prey to an executioner's axe. She knew what Cara was doing; testing the waters, seeing how her new master and friends would react to her secret. She knew it had to be done, especially if she wasn't confident enough to do it herself, but she didn't like the way Cara was going about it: setting up a drama before the big revealing.

"Well, what if I were to tell you that the argument happened because Berdine trusted Raina with a secret? This secret being the fact that, before Berdine was unjustly kidnapped and forced into training, she had a love."

Richard spoke up. "Cara, please get to the point. Why is the fact that Berdine had a childhood love a big secret?"

Cara fixed her wicked gaze on him.

"Because of the fact that it was a girl, of course."

Both Richard's and Egan's forks froze in midair. Raina winced. Berdine felt positively betrayed.

"But...that's...how?" Richard looked right into Berdine's eyes. She paled to imagine what he must be thinking of her now.

"What's the matter, Lord Rahl?" Cara asked icily. "Is this love somehow less _wonderful_ because she doesn't have a Sword of Truth between her legs?"

Despite the insult, Richard's gaze didn't leave Berdine. A long few minutes passed, no one daring to speak, everyone gazing at Berdine. The woman in question shocked everyone by getting up and fleeing the room.

The sound the door made as it slammed behind her seemed to bring everyone to their senses. They all began speaking at once. Cara's face was a deep red, and she was yelling in Berdine's defense to anyone who would listen. Egan tried calm her, to no avail. Ulic loudly told her and Egan to be quiet. And Raina just broke down and cried.

----------------

"You have some talent." Egan and Cara were walking in the courtyard again after the dramatic breakfast. He could see Cara was still fuming. He put his arm around her and pressed a kiss to the top of her head.

It annoyed her, to say the least. The breakfast, everyone's reactions, and Egan's kiss. She didn't want to be yelled at or cried over or held or kissed. She wanted...well, she wanted to put on her red leather and raise some hell.

"I just hate it. I hate how everyone treats her. Am I the only one in the world who understands her choice and doesn't care?"

"I don't think so, Cara. I was shocked, initially, but that doesn't mean I think less of her for it. It just took a little getting used to. I think, if that's truly what she wants, then it's OK with me." He gave her another kiss. "I'm sure that's how Lord Rahl feels, too."

Cara shook her head. "I don't think so. And that's what Berdine's the most worried about. She would hate to have him think bad of her."

Egan nodded. "I understand."

They continued walking in silence. Cara was beginning to hate his arm around her. She was beginning to feel penned in. She felt such rage after that episode that she just needed to be alone to come to terms with it. Unfortunately, Egan didn't seem to understand.

They came to the fountain at the end of the path. Last night, they had sat on that fountain and talked for hours. Egan guided her in front of it and they both sat, Cara feeling a sort of de-ja-vu. She tried to capture the feeling she had had last night with him, but it didn't come. All she could think about was Berdine.

Did Egan hope to recreate last night? _Dear spirits, I hope not..._ Cara was startled that she actually thought that. After all, it wasn't like she didn't have fun last night. She loved it. What was so different about today? _This rage, that's what. Egan isn't going to be able to fix this one._

They both sat in silence for a few minutes, Egan thinking about breakfast, and Cara thinking about Egan. Through her peripheral vision, she studied his face. _Did we take things to far, too fast last night?_ she wondered. _Should I have waited?_ She had wanted to catch up on everything she'd missed, but she found her affections already waning._ Maybe it's just because of what happened this morning. Maybe I should just enjoy this day, see where it leads us._ Thinking of where it had led last night (her bedroom) she was surprised to find she didn't relish that prospect.

----------------

"Berdine? Are you in here?"

Berdine cringed at the knock on her door and Raina's voice coming through. She didn't answer. Raina waited a few moments, then tried the doorknob. Finding it unlocked, she slowly opened the door.

"Are you okay?" she asked, coming to the edge of Berdine's bed. The other girl was lying on top of it, her face buried in the pillow. She felt humiliated after that whole ordeal, and all she wanted was to be left alone so she could continue crying. Unfortunately, Raina didn't seem to get that. She sat down, thinking hard.

_It's peculiar, how we Mord-Sith are. It probably seems like we're unemotional, hateful human beings, who never cry or laugh or have fun. The truth is, we are very emotional, passionate even. How would we survive otherwise? We just know how to keep that away from our workplace. Our workplace being, unfortunately a dank dungeon with plenty of chains on hand, our job being never to show any emotion other than cruelty and joy at providing pain. _She walked forward and sat on the corner of Berdine's bed.

"I'm sorry. It's my fault, isn't it?"

Slowly Berdine sat up and turned around to face Raina. "No...you were just trying to be nice. Cara's the one who took it out of control."

Raina nodded. "Do you resent her for it?"

Berdine sighed. "No. She knew I wouldn't have enough courage to tell Lord Rahl myself. She did it in the only way she knows how: by just coming out with it." Her eyes filled with tears again. "I've failed him, haven't I?"

Raina shook her head. "No, I don't think so. He's shown us that he's different from our last master. I don't think he would think less of you now, or hurt you like our last one did."

Berdine covered her face with her hands. "Does _everyone_ know about that?"

Raina laughed. "I don't think so. But then again, I thought no one knew about my never choosing a mate, and Cara did."

"Oh, that's just her nature. She's very observant. She surprises me often with what she's picked up."

They sat in a comfortable silence for a few minutes, each indulging in their own thoughts.

"I think..." Berdine began, looking back at Raina's face. She stopped short, seeming to notice something there.

"What?"

Berdine reached out and smudged some makeup off of Raina's cheek. Mord-Siths never painted their faces like the court ladies did at the Palace. Their pets were supposed to fear their naked beauty. Now that Richard had granted them their freedom, a few had decided to experiment with makeup, Raina apparently being one of them. She didn't go overboard, however, Berdine was glad to note. She wouldn't have noticed it had it not smudged from tears.

"You were crying."

Raina blushed. "I was upset."

Berdine smiled. "Still. You were crying over me. How sweet."

Raina laughed. "I'm sure this silly face paint is a mess now." She wiped self-consiously at her cheek. _Berdine probably just had the worst, most embarassing incident since leaving the People's Palace, and she's joking with me._ She smiled at the girl across from her and remembered how she had wished they could be friends. _Maybe I'm not as friendless as I thought, here in Aydindril_.

Berdine smiled back. _Raina seems like someone who could need a friend. Maybe I can help her out with that. Anything to get my mind off of what Cara did._

Raina started giving Berdine more reasons why Richard probably didn't hate her for what Cara said, but Berdine wasn't listening. She was watching Raina. _I never noticed how pretty she is before, even with that stuff smudged around her eyes._

A voice in the back of her mind was telling her to stop thinking in that familiar way, that it would just complicate things further. Berdine decided not to listen.


	4. Of Teases!

Hey guys, so I'm wicked excited that I finished this chapter :) I have good plan for this story. And thank youuu for all the reviews that told me to keep going (especially the one with the Richard puppy-dog eyes ;D) Okayy here goes...please tell me if it was awful x) and if you have any suggestions as to where it should go.

* * *

Cara sat perched on the window-sill, wrapped in a sheet and staring out through the glass pane. She had stolen a rare few hours of sleep, and soon she would have to return to her post in the hallway outside Lord Rahl's room. She had her eyes fixed on the mriswith heads atop their poles, standing out starkly against the full moon. It was a gruesome sight, but she couldn't make herself look away. It was good that they should be killed, she thought. It filled her with rage that such a creature would want to harm Rahl. How peculiar that she should feel rage for a Rahl's sake, rather than at him…the fact that Richard was so kind and even nurturing towards the new lives these Mord-Sith were to lead did so much to change her mind.

She heard Egan faintly stirring behind her. She sighed in annoyance; he was going to ruin her solitary moment by herself. Lately, Cara had been getting more and more annoyed with Egan's every action; it was strange, and she could not help but wonder why. She bit her lip and turned to see him blinking up sleepily at her.

A slow smile appeared on his face, and she wrapped the sheet tighter around herself and smiled in return, admiring his sleepy features. She could not count on her feelings, she realized; one moment she was annoyed beyond reason with the man, and the next she thought he must be the best-looking soldier in D'hara. It was too much…she turned away from his stretching form and back to the scaly mriswith silhouettes. Maybe she just needed some time away from him. She heard him get up and move towards her, and in a moment his strong arms were wrapped about her shoulders. She didn't think it likely he would let her go any time soon.

"What are you looking at?" he asked, planting a kiss atop her head.

"Those."

"The mriswith corpses?"

"Yes, Egan." she said, unable to keep the petty annoyance out of her voice.

"It's…gloomy." he remarked. She sighed inwardly; he never picked up on her sarcasm. "When do you have to go back?" he went on.

"Soon." she remarked vaguely.

He drew back from her and physically turned her around. Cara resisted for only a second; it was not like a Mord-Sith to let a man manipulate her like that. But she let him pivot her so she was looking into his chocolate-colored eyes.

"Come back to bed for a bit?" he asked, mischief lighting up his boyish smile.

She thought of it for a second. It was like a lesson for her, sleeping with Egan…a lesson in making love to make love, or something like it, rather than just trying to please Darken Rahl. Previously a Mord-Sith had no concept of the kind of sex ordinary people seemed to enjoy, because when the previous Lord Rahl called you to his bedroom it was a terrorizing experience. You never knew what to expect, he might hurt you, he might simply let you do as you knew he liked. And as much they feared him, no Mord-Sith was immune to feelings of disgust when forced to touch his twisted, blackened genitalia. In fact, Cara had to suppress a shudder just thinking about it now.

She forced herself to swallow and focus on Egan's brown eyes. She thought of how it had felt lately to be with him. It was much better than with Lord Rahl (anyone would be) but still…she was feeling dissatisfied beyond the physical. Egan was too…nice. Cara was looking for someone who was like her, who was fierce, protective, almost primal, in all aspects of their life, not just on the battlefield. Egan was too flexible a person, too able to put aside the harsh realities of war for the nicer and softer things in life. Cara wanted someone who was able to be as passionate about the attack, about the fight, in all things. She had grand dreams for herself and her sisters and her Lord Rahl. She felt that Egan had gone soft.

But here he was, staring back at her eagerly. For a moment she felt unable to speak. Here was this gorgeous guy who had made it clear in the past few days he would do anything for her, and he was looking at her both mischievously and adoringly, asking her to come to bed.

She just smiled and rose. "Maybe later. I have to get back to my post." She reached for her leathers at his feet.

* * *

Raina sat watching the candle in front of her flicker idly. She'd been at this post for a few hours now, she guessed. No doubt Cara would be there to relieve her soon…

"Hey."

Raina gasped and jumped up. Cara was behind her. She hadn't even heard her approach. She felt guilty for staring at the flame instead of keeping a more vigilant watch of the hallway.

"Cara!" It was the only thing she could think to say. She blushed.

"Raina." Cara said flatly. She walked over and nudged the other Mord-Sith out of the way.

"Sorry I was…"

"It's okay, kid. Go get some sleep."

Raina hesitated. "I…um. I haven't been sleeping so well lately, since Hally…I…is there anything I could do instead?" she stammered.

"It's the middle of the night, Raina." Cara remarked. Raina blushed yet again. "But I did drop by Berdine's room on the way here, and she said she was having trouble as well. Why don't you head over there?" she said with a teasing smile. "Unless you're afraid she'll throw herself at you or something."

Raina lifted her chin up higher and tried to sound confident. Cara really did throw her off-guard. "No…we've been talking more lately and I realized how wrong I was to judge her at first."

Cara smiled. "Good answer." She turned away from Raina and leaned against the wall, Agiel swinging from her wrist.

Raina turned away and wondered if she actually would go visit Berdine. It was true that they had gotten a lot closer lately. She was easy to talk to, and laugh with; Raina no longer felt self-conscious around her, even after knowing of her "secret." She decided she would go talk to her new friend. It beat tossing and turning in bed trying to sleep…

"Berdine?" she asked softly, rapping on the door. She heard footsteps creaking closer and the door was opened slowly to Berdine smiling on the other side, holding a candle and wearing a long white nightgown. Her hair was down, tumbling in curls around her shoulder and the auburn color taking on glints of gold in the candlelight. It was the first time Raina had seen her out of her leathers and with her hair down; for a moment it didn't even look like the same woman.

"What are you doing here?" she asked just as softly, stepping back so Raina could come in. Raina didn't answer at first but stepped inside the dark room, suddenly feeling awkward in her skin-tight uniform.

"I just, couldn't sleep and well…Cara told me you were still awake."

"Yeah, I guess I'm just killing time before I have to relieve her." Berdine sat on the bed and patted the empty space next to her. "So did Cara give you a hard time?"

Raina smiled and shrugged, sinking down onto the soft mattress. "It's Cara." They both laughed. "She said…well, never mind."

"Tell me!" Berdine cried, clutching the candlestick. She always wanted to know what witty thing Cara had said about her to others. But this time, it was different…Raina blushed, and was thankful for the dark that would hide it.

"She said that, um, well she basically asked if I was afraid that you would…"

"That I would, what?"

"Throw yourself at me." Raina said, laughing. "I mean, imagine that."

Berdine smiled, too, and relaxed her grip on the candle. "Yeah, she's so clueless sometimes." Berdine knew she wasn't, that Cara didn't think her sister was interested in Raina in the least, and had wanted to throw Raina off-guard. But she had noticed the other girl's blush, so she said it to fill the air, to put her at ease.

Sure enough, Raina brightened. "Yeah. I mean, that would be…yeah."

Berdine reached back and set the candle on the nightstand. She pondered Cara's words for a moment; was she after Raina? She didn't think so…she returned her gaze to Raina's. The candlelight made her normally angular face much softer, and her near-black eyes even darker, if that was possible. Her face was a blend of the inviting and the haunting. Berdine quickly averted her gaze and started playing with the hem of her nightgown. Of course she was after her…

"So how was your day?" Raina asked lightly. Berdine looked up and smiled, relieved for a change of subject.

They talked for hours, and it was easy. Berdine was getting sleepy the whole time Raina went on and on about life in the People's Palace. She leaned back against the pillow and watched her friend speak, observed all the little actions she did when she wasn't thinking, like tugging on the ends of her hair and biting her lip when she couldn't think of what to say next. Eventually her eyelids began to droop and she pulled the blanket back up around her shoulders.

Raina noticed and laughed. "I'm sorry, you must be tired. I forgot everyone's not an insomniac like me." Berdine just nodded, feeling herself blush. "It's probably time for me to go back anyway," Raina continued. She stood up and grabbed the candle, getting low now. She tucked the comforter in around Berdine's shoulder and, holding the candle out from her body and cloaking her face in shadow, she leaned down and kissed Berdine on the forehead. "Good night," she said, and walked out of the room.

It was just a friendly kiss, but Berdine felt dizzied afterward. She thought fleetingly of Sam, and she could feel something inside her awake and flutter, the first few stirrings of happiness since Hally's death.

Berdine could feel the smile that was spreading over her face, but she rolled over and squeezed her eyes shut. This is bad, she thought. Very bad.


	5. Of Motherly Kahlan and Flirty Berdine

Hi readers :) So if any of you are still with me I just want to say thank you for picking this story back up again. I'm sorry it was so long between updates (more than a year, that's crazy! I'm so sorry) but I've been dealing with a lot of personal stuff lately. I moved out of state and recently came back (just a couple weeks ago) so I figured what better time to get back into writing :) Please, please review and tell me if the story is still just as good or if my style is a little rusty, and give me all the criticism you want, all the better for the story :) Thanks again for continuing to read!

* * *

On the fourth day after their return to the Palace, Richard and Kahlan decided to hold a little meeting. He sent a servant to summon Cara, Berdine, Raina, Ulic, and Egan to one of his studies, where he was waiting with Kahlan behind the desk. They entered the room one by one. Ulic and Egan stood before him and, as one, clapped their fists to their hearts in the ancient D'Haran symbol for deference to their Lord Rahl. The Mord-Sith were never required to make any symbolic gestures like that, but the girls did give slight bows of reverence towards Richard and the Mother Confessor.

"Good morning," he said brightly. Kahlan wore a smile to match her love's. "I called you here today because you five are my closest guardians and it's important to all of our safety that we function well together and understand eachother during our time here. We will be spending a lot of time in close proximity, so we should get some things said and out of the way in the beginning. I informed Kahlan about that little spectacle the other day at breakfast and she...well..."

Kahlan smiled wider. "I laughed."

Richard nodded. "I am not my father. I want everyone to express themselves freely, and if it's through arguing, so be it. But I think we should also solve those problems together so we can continue to do our duties and be close. Because on the battlefield, and even throughout the day as you five are protecting eachother, myelf, and Kahlan, we all need to work together. Is there anything you'd like to add?" he asked, turning towards Kahlan.

"Yes. I think it's...well...touching that you all are becoming close with one another." She started to flush, and ever un-abashed Cara didn't bother to hide her eye-rolls. Kahlan took the hint and moved on to business matters. "What exactly was that exchange at breakfast all about?"

Unsurprisingly to the other bodyguards, Cara spoke up first. "Raina brought up a conversation she and Berdine had had the night before, concerning a personal matter of Berdine's. It is not traditional to let the Lord Rahl know of these things, but Richard insists on calling us 'friends,'" she said the word with noticeable disdain, "and also insists on honesty..." Richard was nodding in agreement, "So I took it upon myself to bring everything out in the open." she finished, smoothly. Ulic, beside her, caught himself mentally marvelling at her eloquence in speaking. _All the better to trap men with, _he told himself.

Kahlan's brows knit together in confusion. "Ok, that's good, but what exactly...was 'everything'," she asked. "Berdine, would you please tell me?"

"I figured she should hear it from you." Richard added quickly.

Berdine drew a deep breath. She decided not to dance around the subject and just come out with it. "Mother Confessor, I am warning you, it is very personal, but this is what we were arguing about. Cara was asking Richard of...the morality...of me being in love with girls rather than men." There was a silence as everyone closely watched Kahlan's reaction.

"And this was not a hypothetical conversation? You actually feel this way?"

"Yes, Mistress."

Kahlan's head whipped towards Richard. "This is what you called a meeting about?" she asked fiercely. She looked back towards the rest of the people in the room. "This is what you were arguing about?" She stood up briskly. "That's just silly. There's nothing wrong with Berdine's ways nor is this a subject for any further discussion. I'm ashamed that we were all embarassing this young woman about this subject. To talk about it at _breakfast_ is an invasion of her privacy." Kahlan's stern look suddenly melted into a winning smile. Her shoulders visibly relaxed. "I thought there was something _serious_ going on. Berdine, we will not put you through talk of this any further. You are dismissed."

Berdine blushed gratefully and left the room with a spring in her step. Cara gave her a reassuring pat on the shoulder as she left.

"Now, is there any other business?" she asked Richard.

The Lord looked around the room. His fierce predatory gaze settled on Ulic. Ulic cast his eyes towards the ground respectfully, but inside, this tough D'Haran warrior was squirming; Richard often had that effect. He knew Richard was communicating to him that he was thinking about the mark on his face, and that his master knew there had been some sort of conflict between him and Egan.

But Richard simply said, "No, my love. That's all."

* * *

After the meeting, no one really had much to do. Richard and Kahlan were working together on many consuming matters of state, so the five of them were pretty much back to the same routine of watching over them, in shifts. Between shifts, they were free to do whatever they wanted. It was a big change for all of them. Usually Egan and Ulic would be dispatched as part of a quad, and the Mord-Sith spending long hours beneath the palace torturing whoever Rahl had managed to ensnare. Since Richard didn't require anything of the sort, they had a lot of free time on their hands. Since Cara and Ulic volunteered to take first watch outside the study doors, Raina found herself inexplicably spending her time today with Berdine.

They had spent a long night getting to know eachother last night, so Raina felt bolder in her sister's presence. They were walking in the indoor gardens together when normally shy Raina decided she had some curiosity to satisfy.

"So...given your...persuasions..." she began delicately, but she had to pause because both she and Berdine burst out laughing good-naturedly, "...during your time serving Darken, I'm guessing you never took a mate, just like me."

"In the traditional sense, yes."

"What does that mean?"

"Well, no, I never took a mate as part of my job. I always managed to make excuses and avoid it, as I'm sure you have experience with." Raina nodded sympathetically. They reached a bench next to a tiny pool of water, and they sat down. Berdine didn't look at her as she continued. "There are girls in the taverns and places we frequent in the towns we plunder that do not have the fear of Mord-Sith like they probably should."

Raina was silent, thinking this over. She was hoping she and Berdine would have the virgin thing in common, but it was clear they didn't. She felt like an outsider once again.

Berdine watched Raina out of the corner of her eye. It was an ironic twist, she thought, that Raina had such a timid personality outside of the dungeons but a fierce face, with sharp, high cheekbones, thin, severe lips, and eyes such a dark brown they were practically black. But when she smiled...it all seemed to be transformed from eerie to sweet, and the real Raina came forth. Berdine shook her head as if to shake these thoughts from her mind. _Not OK, Berdine..._ she thought urgently.

Raina caught Berdine looking at her. "What?" she asked sharply.

Berdine opened her mouth to make an excuse. What came out was, "You're pretty." _Why did I say that.._.

Raina's dark eyes narrowed. "You're making fun of me." she stated flatly.

Berdine laughed at the absurdity. "No, you are." She didn't want to entrench herself anymore in this crush she simply couldn't indulge in. She stood up. "Let's go inside."

Raina followed after her sister of the Agiel, reeling inside. She could feel a smile starting to show on her face, so she looked down toward the ground to hide it. She had never gotten attention from men, and she wasn't sure how to react to a compliment. She could feel a nervous flutter in her stomach. _Butterflies? No way..._ She clenched her fists together, momentarily and uncharacteristically wishing she had a man to torture and dull these thoughts. Work was terrible but mind-numbing and familar. No room for thoughts. No room for confusion.

She looked back up at Berdine's form making its way inside. The butterflies came back.

* * *

Alright, review. And be brutal :) Next chapter will center on Cara.


	6. Of Nightmares

_She is walking towards him, but all he can see from his place in darkness is her form silhouetted against the light coming through the doorway behind her. He is taken with what he sees; her ample hips rolling along with the leather that clings to her like a second skin. She is poised, aware, yet confident, and completely at ease. She stops before him. He admires her long blonde braid, resting on a relaxed shoulder, catching the gleam of the light behind her and descending into shadow. He cannot think of anything but her; his desire to grip the coarse bloodred leather and pull her to him, part it, and find the contrastingly silky and pale skin beneath. He wants nothing more than to touch her and call her Mistress..._

_All at once his fantasies flee his mind and she is so close to him he can feel her breath on his neck. But even now he cannot see her face, for suddenly his head is thrown back in agony. There is an explosion in his side. As the pain grips him he is sure his organs are ripping apart and bursting through his skin. Too late, he realizes he is chained to the ceiling, his wrists straining against metal cuffs as he screams and his back arches. He has been punched, kicked, cut, stabbed, shot with arrows, and thrown from a running horse. Once, he was burned when an enemy lit his field tent on fire and the blazes caught his sleeve. This pain in his side is greater than anything he has ever endured. His mind is shattered into blinding white fragments as he struggles to breathe through the agony. The woman in leather is gone, the room is gone, his name is gone. All there is, is pain._

_And finally it stops. He hangs limp in his chains, panting as sweat and tears drip off his face. His gaze darts to his side, where he expects to see a bloody mess, his insides hanging out and swinging back and forth as he trembles and sways. But there is nothing to see. His side is intact._

_And then, with the next rapid beat of his heart, he is in a bed. It is warm. The walls are still bare and made of stone but there is softening candlelight surrounding him as he lays atop a heavy down blanket. The tiny flames drape the room in shadow, but he is no longer afraid. He no longer hurts._

_The blonde woman appears out of the shadows above him. The meager light does not illuminate her face. Once again he sees only her exquisite body and draping golden braid, but this time she is without her leather. The shape of her is the same, but all the perfect details are filled in; the coarse, clinging red leather replaced by pearly-pink flushed skin that practically glows._

_When she gets in bed, she is just as forceful as in the cell. But this time, all memories of torture leave the man's mind. There is no pain here, only pleasure. The woman does not let the man do as he wishes. It is clear to him that his wishes do not matter here. She uses her strong legs to pin him in place and rolls atop him, and..._

...and Ulic woke up.

* * *

_She is so beautiful. She has her hair down and it falls straight around her severe face in a perfect waterfall. But then the fierce visage breaks into a smile. It warms the man to know that he put it there. She is dressed in a plain nightgown, one strap hanging off her shoulder, at once alluring and adorable._

_Before he can say anything she's coming closer, curling up into his embrace. He inhales her clean smell and runs his fingers through her soft hair. The warm feeling is spreading through him, and it's something he'd never experienced before in his life. He'd been happy, of course; to win battles, to cut down enemies, most of the time just to survive. To get through another day without being brutally killed like so many of his comrades and friends. But this feeling is profoundly different. It's more than just glee. It's contentedness._

_The feeling takes the shape of words in his mouth. "I love you, Cara." he whispers._

_She turns around, her perfect blue eyes meet him, and her sly mouth parts. "I'm not Cara."_

_Dread pulls his heart back into his chest. "But...you look just like her."_

_"Cara doesn't wear this nightgown. Cara doesn't let you hold her. Cara doesn't love you, Cara fucks you." She smiles at that last bit, and resumes her position tucked in his arms._

_In horror, he withdraws and gets off the bed. But the beautiful blonde woman is no longer there._

_"Have I broken your heart?"_

_He turns to see a woman with a blonde braid standing in the doorway. She's dressed in all leather, but he cannot tell if it is simply bloodred leather or if her entire outfit is drenched in blood. He doesn't want to answer her question, so instead, he just smiles, though inside he feels dead._

_"You're beautiful."_

_"Tell me something I don't know." And she walks swiftly toward him, her full lips twisting into a half smile, her hands taking hold of him, her lips seizing his, and..._

...and Egan woke up.

* * *

Alright...I understand that this chapter may not necessarily have "fit" with the rest of the story...being that it's pretty dark, and the rest of the story so far has been mostly light-hearted. But I wanted to stay true to how the characters really do feel, even though I'm taking more of an AU approach to the story. Because as humorous as this story can be, the characters still do lead violent lives and live in anguish and fear inside. Don't worry, things will be resolved soon and back to the cuteness.

Review. Be brutal.


End file.
